my mom retired today. i basically spent my entire day preparing a meal that she didn't even touch. she said all she wanted was champagne... well she got it. she says to me "you don't think". well fuck you bc i do. when i was younger in my "rebellious teen" years, just passing puberty, she used to tell me that i would look back when i was older and regret the hurtful things i said to her. well i dont. and i want to say to her now, why would you say that to me when you yourself say and do hurtful things to me, your daughter, your "pride and joy". no mother... you don't think.

today all i've been doing is preparing for the garage sale i'm having tomorrow. i've told most of my close friends about it and they all laugh and i joke about it but... i'm actually really excited. yes, that's right, excited about a garage sale. i'm mostly excited about making a little moolah to pay back the parentals for all my mishaps over the last couple of months and also bc everything i don't sell i'm giving away. i need a little good kharma in my life and i think this little event i've planned will add a little of that if not just make me feel better in general. wish me luck.

i am going to see this movie tomorrow and no one can stop me, even if i have to go by myself which would be completely tragic but well worth it. none of my friends want to see a boy movie about robots... but i do, i really really really do. i'm a movie fanatic and i know this one will not disappoint me. everything i've heard about it thus far has been all positive and i can't wait to see for myself!! ps i did nothing today. at first i got a little depressed about it but now i really don't care. finished my night with watching home vids of myself as a baby... how vain. i enjoyed it though. ahh, the good ole days.

how can i live when i wanna be free.

today was good and bad. i realized yet again that my father and i are drifting apart and, for me, this is a big deal. i've always considered myself one of those people who is very close to their family, and now, as much as i claim that it's still true, it really isn't. the mistakes i've made have somehow warped his view of me and i really don't think i can save that old image he used to love and admire. i'm a different person now, and i don't want to have to fake an old version of myself. i think, eventually, we'll get somewhat closer to how things used to be but it will never be the same again, at least for me. on the good side, the gap between dad and i has brought mom and me closer. i talk to her a lot more and i love that. the princess diana tribute concert was today too. i got overly emotional watching it (yes. i'm a dork). seeing what she did in the time she was alive is soo inspirational. and it makes me think about all that i want to do but how limited i am in doing anything good bc of my status and my location. 20-something southern girls in germantown, tn don't have a much pull in the world. on a lighter note, i took my dog (cody bob. who will probably make many appearances thoughout this blog ) to the park today. again this event showed the distance between my dad and i who upon asking him if he wanted to join replied "are you kidding me?" sweet, huh? i liked going just cody and me though. nice reflection time and the day was soo pretty. ps anyone wanting to listen to a fun and happy song should check out will young's "switch it on". loves it.