blog FAIL.

third time's a charm.

And here I am again!! I'm going to give this thing one more go... and maybe this time I'll let more people in on the fact that I'm doing it lol. I put an ungodly amount about myself on facebook, but for some reason I'm hesitant to share blogs with people? hmm. Anywayssss, just got done reading over my prior posts and thinking about what has changed... what hasn't? I've had a lot of ups and downs and experienced things I've never gone through in the past. Just got over yet another dark patch in my tumultous roller-coaster of a college experience, but I'm good now. It's summer and I've spent it with the people that matter most to me. I'm on speaking terms with everyone that I've felt wronged by (for better or for worse) and feel the strongest I've felt in a long while. Back on track. SO, what to write about now? Jamie suggested doing my own version of Chelsea Handler's "My Horizontal Life" a while ago... it's tempting, and would be undeniably entertaining, but I'll have to think about it awhile before devulging my sex life via blog. For now, I'm going to stop treating this thing entirely as an online journal and ACTUALLY blog a little... but it'll have to wait until the next post. See you then. Sarah Out.

fix my mind with a final destination.

soooooo a friend of mine mentioned something about starting their blog back up, and i had completely forgotten about this little endeavor i was so dedicated in starting-- all of like 5 posts i made haha. soooo here it goes again, round 2! i reread everything i had written before and i now fully understand what a dark point i was in my life, but no worries!! i'm in the sunlight now, or at least have a much more optimistic view on life right now. so any updates?? i have a job at the memphis zoo working with primates that is unpaid and no other job. don't worry i'm not going to get depressed-- i'll get a job soon and the internship is AMAZING!! i'm really just enjoying the summer time and being with people i care about-- it's different being away from memphis but knoxville has been treating me pretty well lately. boy update???-- nada, i'm still enjoying single status, haven't had any "interactions" in about 3 weeks, but again, i'm cool with that (for now ha). anwyays, I'm extremely content currently and i think the rest of the summer is looking pretty hopeful as well, i'll tell you a little about it ;)

*currently listening to: Vegas by Sara Bareilles

my mom retired today. i basically spent my entire day preparing a meal that she didn't even touch. she said all she wanted was champagne... well she got it. she says to me "you don't think". well fuck you bc i do. when i was younger in my "rebellious teen" years, just passing puberty, she used to tell me that i would look back when i was older and regret the hurtful things i said to her. well i dont. and i want to say to her now, why would you say that to me when you yourself say and do hurtful things to me, your daughter, your "pride and joy". no mother... you don't think.

today all i've been doing is preparing for the garage sale i'm having tomorrow. i've told most of my close friends about it and they all laugh and i joke about it but... i'm actually really excited. yes, that's right, excited about a garage sale. i'm mostly excited about making a little moolah to pay back the parentals for all my mishaps over the last couple of months and also bc everything i don't sell i'm giving away. i need a little good kharma in my life and i think this little event i've planned will add a little of that if not just make me feel better in general. wish me luck.

i am going to see this movie tomorrow and no one can stop me, even if i have to go by myself which would be completely tragic but well worth it. none of my friends want to see a boy movie about robots... but i do, i really really really do. i'm a movie fanatic and i know this one will not disappoint me. everything i've heard about it thus far has been all positive and i can't wait to see for myself!! ps i did nothing today. at first i got a little depressed about it but now i really don't care. finished my night with watching home vids of myself as a baby... how vain. i enjoyed it though. ahh, the good ole days.

how can i live when i wanna be free.

today was good and bad. i realized yet again that my father and i are drifting apart and, for me, this is a big deal. i've always considered myself one of those people who is very close to their family, and now, as much as i claim that it's still true, it really isn't. the mistakes i've made have somehow warped his view of me and i really don't think i can save that old image he used to love and admire. i'm a different person now, and i don't want to have to fake an old version of myself. i think, eventually, we'll get somewhat closer to how things used to be but it will never be the same again, at least for me. on the good side, the gap between dad and i has brought mom and me closer. i talk to her a lot more and i love that. the princess diana tribute concert was today too. i got overly emotional watching it (yes. i'm a dork). seeing what she did in the time she was alive is soo inspirational. and it makes me think about all that i want to do but how limited i am in doing anything good bc of my status and my location. 20-something southern girls in germantown, tn don't have a much pull in the world. on a lighter note, i took my dog (cody bob. who will probably make many appearances thoughout this blog ) to the park today. again this event showed the distance between my dad and i who upon asking him if he wanted to join replied "are you kidding me?" sweet, huh? i liked going just cody and me though. nice reflection time and the day was soo pretty. ps anyone wanting to listen to a fun and happy song should check out will young's "switch it on". loves it.